Releasing the Mind
by starvingstudent
Summary: Tag to 7x07-An Unlocked Mind. Kensi deals with the aftermath of her experience, which leads to positive change in her relationship with Deeks. "Her knees sag, and when he catches her with an arm around her waist she feels the ghost of a motorcycle seat under her."


_**A quick tag to episode 7.07 - An Unlocked Mind.**_

 _ **Follows as Kensi moves forward from her experience undercover in the cult, and shows the effects and changes that occur in her relationship with Deeks. Did quite turn into what I set out to write, but I'm happy with the result.**_

 _ **Quick note - Did anyone else notice that Callen refers to Deeks as an agent in this episode?**_

* * *

When she stumbles out of the bedroom of horrors, Kensi doesn't even know where she's going. It's not like she walked into the room on her own volition in the first place. She gets literally as far as her legs will carry her when she collapses. Even with the wall at her back, she's barely able to sit upright as she gets her earwig out of her robe pocket and calls in her situation to OPs. And then, unable to do anything else, she waits, knowing only two things.

She is too drugged to defend herself, and her partner will come for her.

* * *

Deeks does come for her.

She doesn't know how much time passes. She tries to stay awake and aware, but can't comprehend if she's counting minutes or hours. When Deeks comes for her, she's still in the same place she landed when her legs gave out on her. (Later, she will wonder how he found her. She will wonder how he even knew to look for her when he no longer had a working earwig. But, at the time, she is confident he will come, and when he does, she doesn't question the how.)

Her chest feels tight and she's sure she's not breathing properly. The floor around her isn't moving, exactly, but it's also not quite steady. And she feels sick to her stomach - from the drugs or from her situation, she's not sure.

But the moment her partner appears, everything gets just that little bit better. She can breathe just a little bit easier and the world around her is just a little bit steadier, and she feels a little less sick.

He gets her to her feet, takes her weight. Someone else slips under her other arm, also helping. Kensi realizes it's David Ramsey.

"Here we go," Deeks is saying, tugging her forward.

Kensi says nothing, all of her energy on simply putting one foot in front of the other. Even though she and Deeks are supposed to be getting Ramsey out together, she trusts Deeks to be able to get both herself and Ramsey out now.

* * *

Kensi appreciates Ramsey's help in keeping her upright during the brief standoff on the hills outside the compound during their escape attempt, but the moment help arrives and Deeks slips back to her side, she sags against him.

"I got you," he tells her.

The adrenaline rush had helped, but now that it's safe, she feels her knees start to buckle. She would go down, but his arm is strong around her waist, keeping her upright and propped against him.

"Whoa, hey," he says, "You're okay, we're okay."

She heaves a breath, and then another, still suspended between her partner and the man they were sent into the cult to extract.

"Do you know what they gave you?" Deeks asks softly.

"No," she manages between shuddering breaths. Beside her, Ramsey is having his own powerful reaction to having just walked out on his overly controlled life. He hasn't moved away from her, but he's trembling under her arm as he takes his own shuddering breaths.

"Callen's already called for an ambulance," Deeks offers. "You're going to be okay."

She inhales sharply and her chest heaves in protest. It hurts and she flinches.

"Hey," Deeks says, "Just breathe. Both of you," he calls, glancing at Ramsey. "Just breathe."

Kensi pulls her left arm away from Ramsey and turns to her right. With Deeks's arm still solidly around her waist and hers over his shoulder, she simply tucks her now-free arm against his chest and grips to his shirt. She angles her forehead against his shoulder.

"Do you want to sit down?"

This is the first time she's felt steady since she drank that glass of wine. She doesn't want to move from this spot, ever. "No."

"Okay. Just breathe."

"Breathing."

"You doing okay, David?" She hears him ask.

He and David Ramsey go on to have a conversation. She hears the words, but can't process them. She follows Deeks's instructions and concentrates on her breathing. In and out. Her chest slowly loosens.

She's lost track of time when she realizes Deeks is gently nudging her. She opens her eyes, surprised they were closed. It's bright around them. Almost too bright in the afternoon sun. She winces.

Decked out in tactical gear and still holding an assault rifle, Callen is standing right in front of them. "How are you doing?"

She suddenly feels more than a little self conscious. "I'm wearing a robe," she blurts.

Callen nods for a long moment, clearly thrown off by her answer. "Yes, you are," he finally says. "Sam and I ended a mission in robes once..." He shakes his head. "Long story. I'll tell you about it one day if you promise not to tell Sam I told you. Big guy's still got issues about that one."

Beside her, Deeks huffs a laugh. She smiles. Callen nods, satisfied she's as okay as she can be.

"Scene is clear now. Ambulance should be here soon. Just down there." He turns and points. "You need help getting down the hill?"

Kensi opens her mouth to answer, but then realizes Callen had addressed Deeks and not her.

"We're good, thanks," Deeks says.

Callen nods and considers Deeks before speaking again. "We have to go meet up with Sam and finish this." He motions towards Ramsey.

Kensi closes her eyes with a sigh, just unable to understand what Callen is trying to say. She'd normally be peeved that her team leader is leaving her out of a conversation, but right now she just doesn't care. She just wants Deeks to handle it so it can be quiet again.

Apparently, Deeks is able to understand the undertone to Callen's words. "I hear you, man. I got it."

There's a long pause. Kensi opens her eyes. Callen is staring at Deeks, considering.

"I don't like it," Deeks adds, "But it's what we signed up for."

Callen nods. "Okay." He passes Deeks a set of keys, and then turns and heads off, down the hill, with Granger. There are a few agents remaining, but no one left Kensi recognizes.

"I don't understand..." She murmurs. Her head hurts so much and it's bright and it's loud. But she feels like she just missed something important and she needs to know.

Deeks presses a quick kiss to her forehead. "I can't go with you to the hospital," he tells her. "I'm responsible for Ramsey while the rest of the team finishes this."

Kensi nods twice before she truly understands what she's agreeing to. "This is what we signed up for," she echoes his words to Callen. "Partners..."

"Exactly."

Any further discussion is cut off by the sound of sirens approaching.

"Let's get you down there."

She nods. "I think... I think I can walk." She knows she's drugged, but she wants to feel in control. And she really thinks she can do it.

He clearly doesn't believe her, but gives her the benefit of the doubt. "Okay."

Kensi stares down the hill that leads to where the ambulance will meet them. She tries to tell her body it's not that far.

Her body tells her to F-off.

She shifts her weight slightly, only to realize Deeks's arm around her is still supporting a large amount of her weight and is probably the reason she's currently upright. She had actually thought she was standing under her own volition.

Even with help, she still wants to try. She stares down at her feet, as if that may help. Her bare toes stare back at her.

"Kens?" Deeks prompts.

She turns her gaze to him. "I'm not wearing any shoes."

He breathes out a laugh before he can help it. "No. No, you're not." Then his eyes darken and his brow furrows in concern.

"I...I didn't...How...?"

"Oh, Kens." His other arm closes around her in a hug. "Let's get you to the ambulance. They'll take you to the hospital and get this drug out of your system, okay? Cause I don't like seeing you this way."

"Okay," she agrees easily. She can't make her mind work, but if he thinks something is a good idea, she trusts his judgment.

"Okay," he echoes.

The world shifts as he picks her up, but not in the way that makes her stomach clench and her head spin. He says some things to Ramsey and then he begins to walk. She closes her eyes and presses the corner of her forehead against his shoulder. She feels awful and she's not wearing any shoes and he has to carry her because she's not capable of this short walk on her own, but in his arms, in this moment, she feels safe.

She doesn't need to feel in control knowing he's in control.

* * *

A few hours after the incident, she's alone at the hospital.

They have her on an IV and she has oxygen available if she needs it.

The doctors and nurses have all been nice and supportive and helpful. She's not allowed to eat or drink anything because they don't know what the bad guys used to drug her. The IV is keeping her hydrated while her system is flushed of the drug. The world has finally stilled, but she's too wobbly on her feet to walk more than a few steps to get to the bathroom. She's now wearing less than when she made her great escape (attempt). Gone is the lingerie and bathrobe. Now she's sporting a faded blue hospital gown.

Also, apparently she had complained of her bare feet to the nurses when she was first brought in, so she is also wearing nifty surgical booties.

She's been cleared of any significant health effects. Her heart rate, blood pressure and breath sounds are within normal limits. As are her cardiac, kidney and liver enzymes.

They've moved on to non-life threatening things.

"Agent Blye, you need to relax," the very nice, soft spoken doctor says, probably for the fourth or fifth time.

"Kind of hard to relax when you're...where you are," Kensi says.

The doctor nods and pats her knee. "I know, dear. I know how hard this must be."

"I really don't think this is necessary."

"Let's hope it's not. But you don't want to regret not knowing for sure, right?"

Kensi sighs and nods. "Right."

The doctor smiles. "Then try and relax."

Kensi lays her head back and closes her eyes. She both wishes Deeks was here to hold her hand and is glad he's not anywhere near her for this.

She's almost positive Lee didn't touch her. But after she passed out on the floor, there's a block of time she can't account for before she woke up in the bedroom, missing her robe, surrounded by half naked people.

She shudders at the memory and opens her eyes, not wanting to relive the terror she had felt at the realization that she may not be able to fight them off at all.

"Are you okay, dear?"

She huffs a laugh. "No less okay than I was five minutes ago."

"I guess that's the best answer I can hope for," the doctor says as she resumes her exam. "When was your last consensual sexual activity?"

"Uh..." Kensi runs her hand over her face as she forces her sluggish mind to think back. They'd really only spent the day in with the cult. The previous day...had been busy. They'd spent the night at his house, but only slept. They previous day... "Two days," she answers.

The doctor nods from her position between Kensi's knees. "Did you use a condom?"

This question is easier to answer. "No. I'm on birth control pills."

The doctor takes another moment to finish her exam and then sits up and pulls off her gloves. She pulls Kensi's gown down.

"I see no indication of sexual assault," she tells her. "There's no bruising or other physical trauma. And there's no indication of recent sexual activity." She gives Kensi a moment to let the news sink in. "I'm sorry for your experience today, but I can tell you with confidence that you were not raped."

Kensi had thought she was sure of that before, but she breathes in relief now and is actually surprised to feel tears spring to her eyes. "Thank you."

* * *

Eric shows up at the hospital with Kensi's go-bag. With the rest of the team still in the field, he's the only one available.

Kensi thanks him for coming for her, and he waves off her gratitude, even though he won't look her in the eye. She rolls her eyes, knowing he's embarrassed to see her in a hospital gown.

She changes quickly and then follows him out to the car. He offers to take her home or to her car, which is still parked at the Mission, but she asks that he drop her at the boatshed with Deeks.

Deeks is surprised and happy to see her, and so of course they make out in boatshed. And of course Hetty catches them.

But it's kind of worth it.

She gets to watch as David Ramsey reunites with his wife. And she gets to feel like she actually contributed to the case.

"I think they're going to make it," Deeks says. They're sitting together, on opposite sides of the table in case Hetty is still watching them.

"I think you're right," she tells him. "And that's because of you."

He scoffs. "Because of all of us."

"Don't sell yourself short, Deeks. The team may have saved us at the end, but you got to Ramsey. And then you saved me. And you almost got us both out."

"I almost failed. If the team hadn't shown up, I would have gotten us all killed."

"If I hadn't gotten myself drugged, it would have been the two of us trying to get Ramsey out instead of you trying to get me and Ramsey out," she points out. "I'm the one who screwed up."

"That's not fair."

"Then stop blaming yourself. You were awesome today, partner."

He considers her for a long moment. Then he smirks. "I did kick ass at Super Creepy Simon Says."

* * *

The night of the incident, he takes her back to his place.

He offers to take her to her place, after making it clear that wherever she goes, he goes tonight. But she hears herself insist on his place before she even finishes the thought. Somehow, his place has come to feel more like home to her - a realization she decides to dwell on another day.

They share a quick dinner of leftovers and then head to bed. It's already late when she tucks herself under the covers.

"You're okay, right?" Deeks asks from beside her. "You don't need to take any pills or anything?"

"I'm okay," she assures. "They said it's out of my system. But there is one thing that will help."

"What?" He says quickly, his body suddenly tense and poised, ready to jump out of bed and fetch something for her.

"A kiss."

He laughs and then shifts towards her. His lips find hers in the darkened bedroom.

When he pulls away, she's smiling, comfortable for probably the first time today, laying back on his incredibly comfortable mattress, surrounded by bedding that smells like _them_.

"Did that help?" He asks. It's dark, but her eyes have adjusted, making use of the street lights filtering in through the bedroom windows. She can see him with great clarity. He's propped on his side. He's close; both above and beside her.

Just like Lee had been.

But so much different. Because there's affection and concern in his gaze, and nothing predatory.

"Kens?" He prompts after a long moment of only silence from her.

She reaches to cup his cheek, loving him for his kind, patient nature. "Yes, it helped."

He smiles at her and settles more into the mattress, his head propped on his palm just above her shoulder.

She tugs him closer. He acquiesces to a point, tilting towards her on his side so that his leg drapes across her thighs, but no further. His hand rubs circles above her hip bone. It's soothing, but far more chaste than she would like. She lays her hand over his and tries to direct his hand to less chaste places. He flattens his hand against her abdomen and stills.

Kensi sighs and looks to meet his gaze. He's looking near her but not quite at her eyes. His gaze is unfocused. She pats his hand, letting him know she understands. Telling him it's okay to take a moment to gather his thoughts.

She closes her eyes and simply revels in the feeling of being so close to him, of the warmth and safety he offers, and the trust she implicitly has in him. Today was bad, and she realizes now that she should have been more afraid, but she had known without conscious rationalizing that her partner would come for her.

Deeks's hand presses against her and his thumb shifts back and forth.

She opens her eyes and this time he's looking back at her.

"I didn't like seeing you like that today," he says. His expression tells her he knows it's the second time he's said this.

"I know you didn't. I didn't either. But I'm okay now."

"Are you?"

She frowns. "The doctors said the drug was out of my system. I feel okay. Do I seem...not okay?" She feels normal, but if anything is amiss, he's the first one who would notice.

"No, it's not that." He sighs and pulls his hand from her to run it through his hair. "No matter what I say, I know I'm going to say the wrong thing here..."

"Deeks," she prompts.

"They drugged you," he says. "And you were in a robe...and not much else and-"

"Lee didn't touch me," she cuts him off. "When he tried I head butted him in the face."

He smiles softly at her. "That's my girl."

She smiles back, but then sobers. She hadn't decided before if she would tell him, but she's going to tell him now. "At the hospital... They, uh, they made sure that nothing happened."

He stares at her with so much sadness in his eyes. She hates when he's this upset, but she's learned that he wants to know things, that he wants to experience things with her. "I'm sorry you had to go through that alone."

She reaches for his hand and threads their fingers together. "It's what we signed up for," she echoes his earlier words.

"Still..." He sighs and squeezes her hand. "I don't like the thought of you alone. What if...what if the doctor found out..."

"That I'd been raped?" She finishes for him when he can't form the words.

He nods, his eyes shining in the dark in that way that tells her he's fighting back tears just like she is.

"Then things would be very different right now," she says. "But I know you'd be right here, still, helping me get through it."

"Absolutely," he says immediately. "I will always be here for you, Kens," he whispers fiercely.

She releases his hand and hooks her hand around the back of his neck, tugging him down for a kiss. He kisses her back, but moves away all too soon.

"Deeks," she practically whines.

He returns his hand to her abdomen. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispers.

Her hand is still behind his neck. She runs her fingers up, into his hair. "You could never hurt me."

He smiles softly at her. "Maybe...maybe tonight we should just sleep. It was a long day and you went through a lot and-"

"And I need you to remind me of what's real," she cuts him off.

He stares down at her, his brow furrow and gaze telling her he's torn between wanting her and wanting to do what he thinks is the right thing.

"Everything about that place was fake. What you and I have is real."

"Very real," he agrees.

She smiles softly up at him, feeling so much love and trust in this man that it makes her heart swell in her chest. "That's what I need right now. That's what I need to replace the memories of Lee and his fucked up reality."

"Something real," he says.

"Something real," she echoes, tugging him closer again.

He comes willingly this time. His hand runs across her abdomen to the mattress on her far side, which he uses to prop himself up as he hovers over her. The leg that had been draped across her thighs shifts so that it's between hers. High between hers. He hovers for a moment, breathing her air. "You're the best part of my life," he whispers, and then captures her lips with his in a searing kiss.

* * *

A week after the incident, she head butts Callen in the face.

They're sparring in the gym at work. Sam is 'supervising' and Nell is in attendance, learning some new moves as she furthers her own field training.

Sam is having Kensi and Callen demonstrate some holds and counter holds before having Nell try.

Kensi is on her back on the mat. Callen is on the ground to her left and over her, his arm stretched across her abdomen to both keep her still and hold down her right arm. In this position, she both can't move her upper body and feels a familiar - and unwelcome - tightening in her chest.

Callen raises his head from its tucked position when Sam says something and Kensi makes her move.

It's not a flashback. She's not freaking out. She just reacts on instinct.

Callen is _right there_ and Nell is watching on from so close. And she can't move. And she's struggling to breath. She moves her head upwards with force and it connects with something hard.

The next thing she knows, Callen is sitting up, away from her, and is clutching a hand to his mouth.

Kensi sits up quickly as well. Her second thought is concern for Callen.

Her first thought is relief that she can breathe again.

"As I was saying," Sam says as he steps forward. "You have to watch out for your opponent's head in this position because it leaves you vulnerable." He shakes his head at his partner. "Come on, G, you know better!"

Callen pulls his hand away from his mouth. There is less blood than Kensi expected, and she's immediately grateful she missed his nose.

"Callen, I'm sorry," she says quickly, having snapped out of her minor fugue state.

Callen gingerly touches the outside of his lip as he waves off her apology. "Good move."

Sam huffs. "Seriously, G, once Nell's trained, I'm taking her as a partner and you're on your own."

Callen rolls his eyes. "You'd be lost without me, big guy."

If either Callen or Sam notice Kensi's reaction, they say nothing to her.

* * *

Two weeks after the incident, and Kensi finds herself grappling with Deeks in the gym at work. It's late, and most of the support staff have gone home, but it's been a quiet week so they stuck around for a workout.

She doesn't quite realize what's going on at first.

When she fails to block a hit and the hit barely lands, she just assumes he expected her to block it and didn't put any weight behind it.

But his fighting skills are improving, so she misses another block a few minutes after. Again, he barely taps her.

She starts purposefully misses blocks.

His moves falter as he realizes what she's doing.

When she stops blocking altogether, he stops fighting altogether.

"What the hell, Deeks?" She demands.

He stands there for a moment in his gloves and his blue helmet looking completely ridiculous when she's suddenly so filled with anger.

"I'm not going to hit you," he tells her.

This only makes her more angry. She rips off her own helmet and drops it onto the floor. "I guess I don't need that if you're not going to treatment me like an equal."

"It's not..." He pauses to toss off his own helmet. "It's not about that. You're my partner, Kensi. You've always been my equal."

"The prove it!" She doesn't even know why she's so angry, just that she is.

"I'm not going to prove it by hitting you. Not now, not ever."

"I thought we were on the same page that we can't let _us_ change things at work?"

He shakes his head as he begins to remove his gloves. "Nothing has changed in this aspect."

She feels tears of frustration well in her eyes. "You used to fight with me."

"Kens, I will wrestle and grapple and train with you any day. But I will not land a hit. I never have."

This sets her back on her heels. "But..."

He cocks his head. "I've never been able to get through your blocks before. But now that I can - sometimes - doesn't mean I'm looking to land any hits. And I'm sorry if that upsets you for some reason," he says, his voice rising. "But maybe that's my issue. Partner, girlfriend or both, I will _never_ hit you. Not for any reason."

She swallows hard at the roughness in his voice. She's still angry, and still doesn't quite know why, but it's fading fast.

"We still need to be able to do this," she motions to the discarded protective equipment littering the floor. "You still need to be able to treat me like a partner first-"

He cuts her off when he strides forward. He's moving fast and she thinks he's going to stop before he gets to her, but he doesn't. He gets right into her space, grabs her face in his hands and captures her lips with his.

She's so surprised she can barely kiss him back at first, reminding her of an earlier moment between them. Her knees sag and when he catches her with an arm around her waist, she feels the ghost of a motorcycle seat under her.

When he pulls away, he doesn't go far. He stares at her for a long moment, and she's pretty sure they're both hearing words that seem like they're from a previous life.

"Do I have your attention now?" He says this time.

She huffs a laugh. "You had my attention last time."

He smiles and cups her face again. "You're not my partner first anymore," he tells her.

"Deeks..."

"You're so much more than my partner now, and that comes first. I don't know when exactly that changed, but it did and I don't want to go back."

She swallows hard at the implications behind his words.

"I _hated_ not being able to go to the hospital with you when you got drugged, but I went along with it because it's what we need to do so we can still _be_ partners. And I will continue to make choices like that at work that will allow us to be partners, because I love being your partner." He inhales and then releases a long, shuddering breath. "But if I ever have to choose, Kensi, and I mean really choose? I'm not choosing my partner. I'm choosing you. I'm choosing _us_."

Her mouth opens, but no words come out.

"So, you can yell at me all you want about equality. You're my equal. I respect your skills in pretty much everything, expect cooking and cleaning," he tries to make a joke to lighten the mood. "You're amazing and strong and independent, and I _like_ that. I love that. I love _you_. So, damn it, Kensi, just let me love you."

She really tries to make words come out, but he's rendered her speechless.

"And just for the record," he continues, "That means I will not now or ever _hit_ you. Or hurt you. Or purposefully put you in harm's way. I'm your partner and I will walk into any bad situation by your side, trusting you to have my back like I have yours, but I will not be the guy you have to look out for, even in training." He waves a hand at their discarded equipment.

She feels tears well in her eyes. "Deeks...I...I don't know where to start..."

He exhales a breath of tension before whispering, "Just agree."

She laughs. "I need to say _something_. You just..." She shakes her head. "You said things. Really big things."

He stares down at her, his eyes filled with determination and love, but also a little hesitance, because now that the adrenaline rush has worn off, he's wondering if he has said too much.

"I'm sorry I was mad at you," she starts. She wants to address everything, but her head is spinning and his words are still making her heart rate jump.

"It's fine."

"No, it's not," she counters. "I know about your past, and I should be more sensitive to that." She pauses. "And, more so, I know how good a man you are. This isn't something I should ever have been mad at you for."

He nods. "Thank you."

She swallows hard. "And...you said...you want to love me. And partners second. And choosing...this over our partnership if the day comes..."

He nods. His eyes have more uncertainty than before, but he's still meeting her gaze.

She nods. "I'm in."

He exhales sharply. "You're...in? Just like that?"

She half-laughs. "You thought you'd have to convince me?"

"I thought... I'm not sure what I thought."

"I'm all in, Deeks. I really am. Sometimes it just...takes me a push or two to understand what that means. But I don't regret it."

"All in," he echoes.

"Partners second," she says for the first time.

He looks at her like he physically can't not be touching her. He leans in and kisses her again.

This time, they are interrupted by a throat clearing.

Kensi pulls away from the kiss, but not the man. She ducks her head and buries her face against his shoulder.

"Ms. Blye, Mr. Deeks, don't you two have a rule about this?"

"Uh, we do," Deeks answers for them.

"It seems it's being broken a lot lately, wouldn't you say?"

Kensi lifts her head. "Sorry, Hetty. We're just..." She trails off when she realizes she's not obligated to explain. She stands tall beside her boyfriend. "We'll be back to being partners at work tomorrow."

Hetty surveys them both for a long moment. "I look forward to it."

* * *

A month after the incident, Kensi and Deeks drive into work together.

In itself, this isn't unusual for them, but today is special.

She steps out of the passenger seat, having let Deeks driven them into work. Together, they walk into the Mission side by side. They're professional, they don't hold hands, but they're open and easy with their relationship now at work.

"Want me to come with you?" Deeks asks.

"Nope, thanks." She smiles at him. "Should only take a moment."

He nods. "What if she wants to discuss it?"

"There's nothing to discuss. This is my choice, _our_ choice, not hers."

"And, if it's an issue?" He looks concerned.

She takes a breath and meets his eyes. "Partners second."

He smiles back at her, as if he can't quite believe she's actually his. "Partners second," he echoes.

She leaves him at the desks and heads to see Hetty. The Operation's Manager is sitting at her desk, sipping tea as she reviews a report.

"Yes, Ms. Blye?" She asks without looking up.

"I just wanted to drop this off," she says, holding out an envelope to Hetty.

Hetty puts down her tea and slowly reaches for the envelope. "And this is?"

"Change of address forms."

"Ah," Hetty nods. "Am I correct in assuming the address will now match that of Mr. Deeks?"

Kensi nods. "Yup."

Hetty stares at her for a long moment before offering a rare smile. "With how serious you're being, I half expected this to be a change of marital status form."

Kensi allows herself to laugh, set at ease by Hetty's simple acceptance. "Not yet."

Hetty looks like she's about to probe further into Kensi's somewhat vague comment, but Kensi takes a page from the older woman's book. She nods and turns back for her own desk before anything further can be said. Feeling Hetty's eyes on her back feel good.

The last few weeks have opened her eyes to the level of control she feels in her day to day life.

But she's aware of it now. She's allowed to make personal decisions and be happy without worrying about the effects on her job all the time. And she's allowed to talk about her relationship at work. She always did before Deeks, and no one ever said that was inappropriate. In fact, Callen and Sam used to badger her about her dating life. So, she's going to be open about it now.

She's going to be professional, but she's no longer going to stifle herself to prevent her co-worker's from possibly being uncomfortable.

 _'What did you do last night?'_

 _'Went out'_ will become ' _Deeks and I went to that new restaurant by the beach.'_

 _What are your plans for the holidays?_

 _'Not sure yet, might get away for a few days'_ will become _'We're renting a cabin in the mountains. Should be romantic.'_

 _What are your plans for the future?_

She smiles. Because she has plans for the future now.

She gets back to the desk right before Callen and Sam arrive.

"Everything good?" Deeks asks.

"Perfect," she says.

Callen and Sam arrive together, bantering as usual.

"Morning," Kensi greets, in response to their greetings.

"Morning," Sam says. "How was your weekend?"

"It was great," Kensi answers with a smile.

Callen glances at her, not used to such a positive response. "What did you do?"

She exchanges a smile with Deeks. "I moved in with my boyfriend," she announces.

Both Callen and Sam look slightly surprised at the news, and glance at Deeks and then back at Kensi, not used to her referring to him as her boyfriend.

"That's a big step," Sam offers.

Deeks shrugs. "Not really. She'd slowly brought - and left - most of her stuff already. This just means I'm officially living with all her hoardings."

Kensi glares at him. "For the last time, I am not a hoarder."

"The hundred boxes we moved on the weekend beg to differ."

"I am happy to move me and my stuff back out if that's a problem for you," she threatens playfully.

He smirks. "I happen to be very attached to you, and your _stuff_."

Callen groans.

Sam echoes his partner. "Don't you have a rule about this kind of thing?"

Kensi smiles. "I have a new rule now."


End file.
